Shit happens

Like this dress which I made for Jungle January (using the leather-like knit Kat sent) not fitting me.

It is what it is.

And that’s ok as long as there’s a good take home message at the end. Which in this case, was as follows:

1. I should have used a woven pattern for this knit because the fabric has very little give.

For instance here’s another burda knit dress in the same exact same size as the leather-like one (cardigan from Knipmode January 2010).

The reason this one fits and the leather-like one doesn’t is because this is a super drapey light fabric whereas the leather-like knit has very little stretch and no drape.

2. This was the first pattern I ever graded back in 2009. I should’ve placed it over something pre-existing that fits well, just to check for sizing.

3. No more chips for me.

There are other times, however, when shit happens and:

Below is an excerpt of one of those times.

Executive summary (with screenshots): I bought two downloadable patterns from sewingpatterns.com (notice how they say downloadable and not pdf? Red flag number 1).

I tried to download them. Apparently, you can’t. Not without:

Installing some shite proprietary plugin (i.e. a program they/ someone else made to stop you from owning the stuff you’ve already paid for).
Installing Acrobat reader.
Changing your system defaults so that Acrobat is the default program for opening everything with.
Using Firefox instead of Chrome or Safari or any other browser.

I did all of the above. And after two hours d*cking around with that sh*t I still didn’t have my patterns. So I tried to contact support.

Guess what? You can’t just email or tweet or leave a message on their Facebook page. No, those methods of contact only exist for them to send you shit. You need a login to get support on their system.

So I got one. Guess what?

Their login system is so shite that it includes recaptchas. In case you’re.. you know.. a spam bot that they somehow managed to send a login to?

Eventually I sent in my support query (by this stage it was over 2 hours and 45 minutes-i.e. they owe me money for all the time I wasted trying to get the stuff I’d paid for).

I got this the next day-after logging onto the ‘support system’ and getting through recaptchas (my original complaint is below-their response is on top).

This is what I responded with.

I will never buy** from these people again.

I’m sorry I ever did.

Truly I am.

From the bottom of the hollow burnt out cinder that used to be my heart.

**Their international shipping is a total rip off. Ebay and etsy sellers manage to stuff 10+ designer Vogue patterns into a priority international envelope for $12.99. Why the F*CK are sewingpatternsdotcom charging $18.45 + $2.25 for every additional pattern? Perhaps because the only other option is voguepatterns.mccall.com (it’s not. Patternsplus exists in all it’s dodgy website, random pattern-mix-ups glory).

*UX=user experience. The following is an example of bad design leading to bad UX.

Pattern: Burda 03/2009 Tunic 103.

Fabric: Leather-like knit from Kat.

Modifications: Shortened by 2 cm at waist and 1 cm at hem. Replaced the gathers at centre front with a single inverted pleat.

Tights: Black screen-printed tights from Galstern (not bad but not worth $30+and shipping ..). Grey striped tights from Fiore (not happy-they’re knitted and the stripes still don’t match XP).

Take home message: Always be as polite as possible when (metaphorically) punching people in the head online. Just in case it’s a lolcat you’re punching.

Edit: They sent me a refund. They appear to have responded via their irritating support system as well – probably to tell me they sent me a refund – but I have no wish to further expose myself to recaptchas so it ends here.

Disclaimer: All non-self-generated images remain copyright of their respective owners and are used here for purposes of illustration, discussion and humour. All opinions are my own and are based on (some extremely harrowing) personal experience(s).